Help! There’s An Election Coming

Unless you happen to be a hermit alone on some solitary peak (a jolly good place to be right now), you must have noticed that we are quite likely to have an Election on 5th May.

Years ago, direct marketing folk lived in fear of Elections. In the run up to them, direct mailings fell to a trickle and off-the-page ads disappeared. This was simply because public interest in campaigns was so great that there was little time to spare to look at the latest offerings dropping through the family letterbox. What’s more, the news in the papers was more interesting than the ads, so nobody clipped the coupons. People were simply distracted by an important national event.

I think times have changed. Surely I can’t be alone in wanting the whole wretched, spin-loaded, ballyhoo to be finished and that by some miracle we can be transported to the 4th June when all is done and dusted, the flat season is with us and the Derby is run.

Personally, I have taken steps to avoid any political news. I have super-glued most keys on the TV remote so that I cannot inadvertently tune to any news broadcast. When I watch TV it will be a diet of UK Gold and the Shopping Channel. All radios have been disconnected and the newspapers cancelled. I have asked the publishers of The Spectator to tear their illustrious journal in half and send me only the review section and the humorous back of their magazine. I have made special arrangements with my postman to collect this from the pub, since my letterbox has been nailed up with a sturdy piece of timber so that election manifesto’s cannot be delivered. A machine gun nest is being erected on the roof to deter political canvassers and take care of any brave enough to walk up the drive.

In the meantime, the direct marketing community can get on with its work without worry. Not every consumer will be taking the extreme precautions that I am. I expect most people will simply avert their eyes, stick their fingers in their ears or up at the politicians and ignore as much as they can. Moreover, as a distraction from the unseemly farrago, they may take more than their usual notice in the direct mail they receive and continue to reply to ads they like for things that they want.

Further, I predict that the turnout to the forthcoming election will drop to an all time low and that public apathy for the event will be reflected in little deviation from standard response rates. So if you are planning any activity for the end of April or early May, don’t postpone or cancel it.